Wednesday, August 3, 2011

10 Reasons Chickens Are Better Pets Than Dogs

10. No licensing fees. I think the towns tried to require licenses, but getting a chicken to wear a collar isn't as easy as it seems.

9. Chickens don't beg. They won't endlessly bother you for your table scraps. Chicken feed and bugs is about all they need to be happy.

8. Chickens don't bite. I've never seen a chicken with a muzzle and I've never been asked to wait at the front door while a customer puts their chickens away. But please ladies; don't wear open-toed shoes with fabulously painted toenails around your chickens. Or at least if you do, please make sure I'm there to videotape it.

7. Chickens don't eat there know. C'mon, you dog owners know what I'm talking about! Let's just say you certainly don't want Fido licking your face after feasting on this particular snack.

6. Dog's don't have the market cornered on being glad to see you when you get home from work. Nothing's funnier than seeing a flock of hens running up to greet you when you step out of your car.

5. Chicken names can be more fun than dog names. How about pEGGy Sue, HENrietta or Off-Road Clucker? Or, if you're six years old, you might choose Yelly, Brownie and Chickie - like Jeff's daughter did for our chickens. And yes, in the near future some poor feline will be named Bubbles.

4. You look at bugs in a totally different way. Before chickens, I'd do what most do when confronted by a gnarly-looking insect -- squash it! Now, when confronted with a shiny exoskeleton I can't help but wonder if Brownie might find the little creep tasty!

3. Don't ever have to walk your chicken. I just don't have it in me to walk a dog twice a day in all kinds of weather. Chickens don't need walking. Better yet, you don't have to follow your chickens around to pick up their warm, know.

2. Chickens are quieter than dogs. Allow me to clarify: by chickens, I mean hens. Roosters are a whole different story - just ask our neighbors.

1. Chickens contribute productively to the family, dogs just eat. Sure you have to feed chickens too, but at least they produce eggs for you! Mmmm. Scrambled, fried, poached, over-easy, in-a-basket, salad, benedict, deviled...